These days the only thing that keeps me going is my job. For the past 3 weeks I have had one gigantic evil mouth ulcer after another, rendering my life almost unbearable. I could not speak, eat and when I try to do these things I am either in agony or look ridiculous, usually both. Today is the first day that I am no longer haunted by the curse of the mouth ulcers. Anyhow F and I had another fight (more like part deux of the one started yesterday), but I am no longer the pathetic, spineless, self-harming girl who surrender and begs for mercy, this time I stood my ground and refused to comply, I refused to loose perspective, I protected me and told myself I have the right to be me, however bad and evil and immature he thinks I am. I want to be me and I do not want to change anymore than I already have. I need to retain some of me, already I am in this foreign environment. I refuse to loose myself and be someone else just because someone else thinks I should. I have regained my presence of mind.
I thank God for this new job, it has given me new hope and aspirations. It is not grand or powerful and I don't even have my own desk (I really hope my boss find me a place soon!), but I like it so far and I am happy. I even dream about it.
The objective for this week is to be nice to myself. To put myself first, and everything else second. This means not let things upset me that plays little importance in the long run- things that won't matter at all in five, or even three year's time. It is time to get wiser. 
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